Meaningless

Sitting here on the edge of my sanity
Wings itching to fly
Crash me to the ground.
Things change though I never seem to.
Falling asleep, my theme
My creed.
Darkness rises again
Wondering
The outcome of the last bout
The last doubt
Will it ever never end
End
End?
Returning to my perch
Feeling squeamish
Saddened by the luck of the day
Sleep not coming
Theme not binding as I will my will
When did it become mine?
What happened to my eternal surrender?
It lies more deeply still
Sleeping in shadows
It remains in slumber
To awaken to, to bring light to such dark places as I wish not to see.
Concerned, Decrepit
Embalmed faces,
Pains, habbits,
Knowing them only by feeling with my digits their holes
Squishing, slopping as
I vomit onto the ground.
That empty black nothing that resides within my soul.
Somehow I am convinced I need it.
Somehow I am convinced Light may not shine there.
To which depth do I appeal?
In my sleep,
In my dreams
What do I draw from?
Is it truly this place that resides under the light?
This is my death.
What is it's strength?
That it holds over me as chains for suspenders
And clamp into a vest.
The locks are in that darkness, thought the chains remain above with me
In the light.
My heart fails me,
Beating away, pounding
The walls of my chest.
I want to die soon,
Though I hold on for Hannah's sake.
She wouldn't understand
Why the death and decay within
Found its way out.
I'm dying, and the world is meaningless.
But I am glad, for I have affected.
I have changed the world, for God has used me to change the people of it.
My last wish
Is that Hannah live a happier life than mine.
And so I live to fulfill my dying wish,
For upon whom could I place such a burden?
Meaningless.